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Wednesday July 17, 2019
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Aliens, brace yourself. We’re coming. Well… maybe.
An unarmed and not-remotely-dangerous army of keyboard warriors are ‘planning’ to storm Area 51 – the highly classified United States Airforce facility – this September. No, seriously.
The main objectives: liberate the ‘captured’ aliens, maybe bag yourself a new alien bae, hotwire a sweet UFO vehicle and integrate extra-terrestrial beings into modern day society. Sweet.
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It’s a mission likely to go unaccomplished, and yet 800,000 people are gearing up to finally uncover the secrets of the USA’s biggest alien conspiracy theories once and for all.
The thousands-strong, err…, soldiers will be sectioned into three groups: rock throwers, Naruto runners (animé ninjas that run really fast) and ‘Kyles’ (a team of muscle buff teenagers with a penchant for kicking in drywall).
Although, some may go rogue adopt their own fighting style… :
me training to go into Area 51 and fight the government pic.twitter.com/yOyU555lJH
— may // au (@novastarkgazing) July 12, 2019
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Wednesday July 17, 2019
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The outrageous plan originally caught attention via an open Facebook page, Storm 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us where the ringleader suggests ‘if we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets…’
The ‘Storm Area 51’ mission has now gone viral and is trending on Twitter. And the memes are flooding in thick and fast.
One alien enthusiast has already planned to go official with his new ‘alien boo’:
Unofficial soldiers include hip-hop legend and the extremely nimble MC Hammer, who tweeted:
You think you gonna distract us ??? Noooooooo !!!! Were talking #Area51 pic.twitter.com/FDSeAk5FJ3
— MC HAMMER (@MCHammer) July 12, 2019
Sure, the US government has a well-armed, highly trained military operation but we have an aging entertainer with a penchant for baggy trousers. Sounds legit.
And still, over 400,000 people have joined the Facebook group, all offering various methods of action.
One person commented:
We use the rock throwers and naruto runners to distract them and the rest of us go underground.
Get the aliens on your side and you might have a chance with some “inside support” like sabotaging the guns.
Master strategist, Jackson Barnes, hopes they can storm the facility without the use of violence.
…the Rock Throwers will throw pebbles at the inevitable resistance (we don’t want to hurt them, we just want to annoy them enough to not shoot…)
The date for Area 51 to be stormed is set for September 20, 2019, and ‘soldiers’ will meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and ‘coordinate entry’.
Before you pack your Doc Martens, binoculars and all other alien mission paraphernalia and head to Nevada, remember you could risk life and limb.
As one person warned on Facebook:
‘Man… y’all gonna die…’
For the brave among us, God Speed.
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